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newsies: they almost kiss

After you lose a pet, how long should you wait until you adopt one of the same species?

1 week
2 weeks
3 weeks
a few more weeks
A few months
a year
over a year

This is important because it's only been three weeks since Sandy died and I'm not ready to get a new dog. But my mother and sister are dictators. Just a few minutes ago I asked if we could wait a little while and my mom was all, "I don't want to wait!" My sister is going back to school and mom is working all the time and dad won't do anything and I'm not ready but I'm going to be stuck taking care of it alone for the most part.

I see them as selfish :/ Even if they really want one, I'm not asking them to wait like a year. Just another month or so.

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Out of respect to you and the dog, if I was your mother, I would wait longer :/. When it feels right to get another pet, you should get one, not almost straight away. Do you know why your mother doesn't want to wait to get another one?

Well, she wants to get it the week of August 6th because she's taking that week off. She told me she doesn't want to wait because she "won't be home" the rest of the time. And that should be a hint to her, imo.

It's different for everyone. :/

I won't set a specific time period, but I will say that in your case it does seem like it would best to wait. If your the one whose going to be taking care of it most of the time, you should probably have more of a say in when you get it.

If your mom and sister refuse to compromise on that point, though, is there anything they can do to make it easier on you? I'm thinking, like, see if they'll at least agree not to get the same breed and/or gender of dog, or something?

Yeah, I think they're looking at different breeds. It depends on what we can get though, since we don't have a fenced in yard. It's just bothering me because I am going to be the one taking care of it during the day, all alone. And of course I will if I'm forced to live with it, because I wouldn't just ignore a living creature, but that's how I feel right now - that it's forced. In a month or two maybe I won't feel forced because I'll probably want another one. But I don't want to be forced to do anything.

I don't think it's a specific time period, I think it varies for each person and how they deal with grief.

My cousin started making plans to get a new cat a few days after snowball(her cat for like 10 years, she loved that thing to pieces) died.

My dad got a new dog before our dalmation finally died, but we knew it was comign because she had heartworms and the vet couldn't do anything.

My aunt waited a year, and my grandpa never replaced his. It's a personal thing and it depends on how you see it. YOu shouldn't think of it as a replacement though, just think of it as bringing someone else into your life.

Yeah true. I guess it just bothers me because I'm going to be the one with most of the responsibilities, even if they don't really see that right now. And of course I'd take care of it, but I'm not really ready to take care of another dog. My mom will be at work all day and my sister is going back to school in a few weeks. That leaves me and my dad, and my dad will just hide in his room. I know they have the right to look, but before getting one they should consider everyone in the household, I think.

I answered, but that's just for me. it depends on the person and how ready they are -- my family waits a long time to get a new dog, although that's probably because we always have two dogs, so we still have one. but one of my coworkers got a new puppy a week or two after her dog died, because she felt like she needed that.

so no one in your family is wrong based on when they want a dog, but yeah, they should definitely consider your feelings.

I agree with pleasure_past. if it would help and you can get your mom and sister to agree to it, maybe make sure you get a dog that is a completely different breed.

I completely agree with you. And jsyk, her mom and kim don't even want a dog that's the same as sandy in any way, and its also not like they're forcing darcie to do anything. Just putting that out there since I've clearly seen both sides of this story. :P

Darcie, I love you, but I'm offended by this because it makes me seem bad for wanting a "replacement" dog so quickly. No ones feelings are wrong here.

no sweetie, it has nothing to do with you and your family. It is different for everyone, but I want to see how long others would wait. So that I kind of have justification for my feelings, because those I talk to about this problem (outside of this post and my counselor's office) really don't see my side. all they do is defend mom and kim. and they are forcing me, sweetie. if they get it really soon, they're forcing the new dog into my life. i'm going to feel resentment, i can't really help it. i already do. i won't in a month or two, but i feel it now because I'm not ready. and I don't want to do that to the new dog because it doesn't deserve that. but i just can't handle the situation right now. i want them to delay it and i'm not asking them to wait even half a year. just enough time so that i don't feel completely negative about the situation.

They're completely disregarding my feelings, or at least that's how it feels right now. Like I said when I replied to pleasure_past, it feels forced right now. I love dogs, and sometime in the near future, I'll probably be fine and even want another one. But if I'm forced, I'm just going to carry around this negativity and resentment. It's hard for me to focus on positivity when I feel ignored :(

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